Patent

Two disturbing videos, neither bring good news:

  • Video Shines Light On The Disturbing Emotional Toll Of Being Black At UCLA Law School [Video]
  • Novelty Shop: Clarence never invented anything; however, he didn’t let that keep him from being one of the most prolific patent litigants ever. The following is a fictional account, based on a true legal system. Any similarity to any actual events is probably inevitable. [Video][Book]
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  1. 3

    omg I just now saw the trailer for novelty shop. Going to be the … BEST … movie! Will pay good money! Might buy two copies!

  2. 2

    I actually bothered to read the book last night – it was tedious but I did it in a night. I didn’t buy it, however, I borrowed it.

    The story revolves around Clarence, his wife, his friend and various patent attorneys. Clarence inherits a bunch of “sex toy” patents from his uncle. He hires a solo patent attorney one year out of law school and they proceed send out demand letters to a bunch of handset manufacturers because of the “vibrating” feature. They start getting more aggressive from there. You also have the “hero” first year biglaw patent attorney who bucks the system and eventually comes out smelling like a rose.

    The author is clearly a disillusioned, young, male, patent attorney. He also likely got his first job, since working summers at Walmart, at a biglaw firm doing patent litigation (and not patent prosecution), which for a first year is a lot of mind numbing document review and writing useless memos. His writing appears to be a derived from a fantasy conjured 200 boxes into a 500 box document review.

    His writing is also misogynistic. The first two chapters of the book are about as degrading to woman as I have seen in print in a long time. If I wasn’t interested in finding out what he had to say about the patent system, I would not have made out past those chapters.

    The book is self-published on amazon and desperately needs an editor. If you want to do patent satire … great, but focus on the satire. The book contained many passages of dialogue/exposition that did nothing to move the story along. There were lots of pages I could easily skim through.

    Like much of the anti-patent crowd, he grossly overstates how easy it is to get a patent and how easy it is to monetize a patent. In the beginning, almost everybody rolls over for big settlement amount just for the asking. As you can imagine given the intended slant of the book, almost all the attorneys in the story (besides the hero) are unprofessional and unethical – he also goes out of his way to make them also seem incompetent and just plain slimy. The book is less satire and more a print version of the “Keystone Cops.”

      1. 2.1.1

        6 definitely came to mind — from the South with an “old school” Southern mentality and a bit delusional. However, the writer was definitely experienced with patent litigation (although I wouldn’t call him a litigator), and we all know that 6 is a USPTO lifer.

        The first two chapters, however, definitely could have been written by 6.

          2. 2.1.1.1.2

            A couple of excerpts from the book:

            “The bumps on the outer columns are stimulating the perimeter of her [rhymes with Delores] and the lips of her [rhymes with China], while the middle column puts direct pressure on the [rhymes with Delores]. Doc walks in front of Jade, taking notes. As Doc is walking back to his position … he slips on some lubricant that was flung on the floor earlier.”

            “She tries to lift her [cat] off, up, and out of reach, but the bumps still make light contact. The fast moving bumps driver her even crazier when it barely makes contact … Finally, she pushes her [cat] as close to the fast-moving-Ferris-wheel-sander thing as she can. She can’t think straight! She can’t think at all! Just when she things she might orgasm, alarms on the machine that she is connected to go crazy.”

            A classic piece of literature.

    2. 2.2

      The solo practitioner that Clarence engages was supposed to be more than one year out of law school. Sorry if that wasn’t apparent.

      1. 1.1.1

        Oh, the irony of “occasional lack of substance” coupled with “disturbing fictional accounts”…

        😉

          1. 1.1.1.1.1

            Given the history of chumming and the appearance of preferential treatment to Malcolm (including Malcolm’s ability to provide a link interior to a thread in the pre-Disqus days, something only Malcolm had ever done and something that requires access to a website’s internal workings), my guess is that the irony was not intentional.

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