Hamlet, on filing a response with the USPTO

Angela Horne is a patent agent at Quine IP Law Group.  As can be seen from her prose below, she is also a talented Shakespearean.  In this Scene, young Hamlet is debating his next course of action:

To file, or not to file (today): that is the question
Whether ’tis easier on the budget to file
The current draft without further extension;
Or instead, to take more time to review,
And by reviewing, further revise the arguments…
To file, to wait for the Examiner to review
At last; and by calling before two months is up, forestall
The heart-ache and the thousand muttered curses
That a Final Office Action is heir to. ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish’d.
To file the response, to follow up with a call;
To call, perchance to get the case allowed: aye, there’s the rub;
For in that Notice of Allowance, what claims to next pursue
When we have the current claim set allowed, 
Must give us pause…

Ms. Horne’s prose also reminds me of the Roach Trap patent application that was filed in the mid 1800’s by D. Breed of Washington DC.

To all those whom it may concern:
By this description, you may learn
That I, D. Breed, a District man,
Have made invention of a plan,
Both new and useful, of a trap
For catching roaches while you nap.

In setting forth my new invention,
Of first importance I would mention
My trap’s a novel earthen cup
Outside of which the roach creeps up
And, jumping in to eat molasses,
The well glazed mouth he ne’er repasses.

In drawings, figures one and two
Show simple forms, yet something new;
The first has rough outside or way;
The next, an inclined path at A.
The central stem (in dots you see),
Is crowned with bowl like half a pea,

To hold molasses, say a drop,
And smoothly glazed from base to top.
But this is no essential thing:
Without it, the roaches spring.
If in the bottom of the cup
You place the sweet whereon they sup.

The figure three shows a form unique
Of which in highest praise I speak;
‘Tis glaze on in and outer sides,
Except between the handle strides
Where creep the roachies up a track
Without fear of sliding back.

In figure four, at B, a spout
Is made, to wash dead roaches out;
This form is glazed entire within,
also the mouth up to the brim
but on the outer side, all round,
No trace of glazing can be found.

In five and six, a septum, C,
Cuts full two thirds the cup from three,
The smaller part has open door
At letter D, close to the floor,
And inclined way to top of cup
Where Mr. Roach with cane walked up;

Nor needs his wife or child his hand
To reach the highest brink and stand,
A little trip is balance hung
May o’er the mouth of cup be swung;
But that, an almost useless thing,
To save expense, away I fling.

Of varied traps, with spiral walk
And sundry forms, I yet might talk —
Of clay or other mortar made
To suit the fancy or the trade:
Forms now conceived, yet not revealed,
That sleeping lie to fancy’s field.

From this description,you may make
Whatever form you choose to take,
From figure one to six, made part
Of this to aid the potter’s art,
I recommend said figure three
Of porcelain, like cup for tea.


As manufacture new, I claim
Said pottery trap, or porcelain.


One thought on “Hamlet, on filing a response with the USPTO

  1. 1

    W’s SOTU on tech (and Napmosphere)

    In today’s IT Blogwatch, we look at the State Of The Union address. Not to mention University of Stuttgart’s Napmosphere — power napping for the 21st Century…

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